I'm a celeb-retard, donkey-punch me in the neck!

The new season of Dancing with the Stars should be borderline amazing. It's about time they got some women on the show that have a little bit of attitude.


Shannen Doherty will be available in case Kate Gosselin gets out of line and needs her extensions pulled out. If you put a Pussycat Doll and Pamela Anderson in the same room together, eventually they'll discover that they've slept with the same person, and one of them will attack the other with a glitter pen.

Although I doubt the reason they hired Pam was for drama. They probably just figured with her they'd save money on personal trailers. You connect the dots.

Makeup Regimant Refresh Your Knowlege and Your Look

Step 1: Foundation

● Evens out skin tone and provides a smooth surface for other makeup products

● Three types: liquid, cream, and powder

● Intensity Levels: Light, Light-Medium, Medium, and Deep

● Test on your upper test on your jaw line to find the

Best match.



Anew Age-Transforming Foundation SPF 15

Ideal Shade Smooth Mineral Foundation

Ideal Shade Liquid Foundation SPF 10




Step 2: Concealer
● Covers up imperfections, blemishes, under-eye circles

● Apply to trouble spots and blend gently. Under eyes, corners of your nose around your mouth.



Anew Age-Transforming Concealer SPF 15

Beyond Color Radiant Lifting Concealer

Ideal Shade Concealer Stick






Step 3: Powder

● Sets foundation and concealer

● Gives the skin a finished look

● Eliminates shine around the T-zone

● Two types: pressed and loose



Anew Beauty Age Transforming Pressed Powder SPF 15

Ideal Shade Loose Powder




Step 4: Eye shadow

● Accents and defines the shape of the eye

● Three types: cream, pencil, and powder

● Choose a shade that complements your eye color



Anew Eye-Lifting Serum Shadow

Beyond Color Radiant Lifting Eyeshadow (cream)

Perfect Wear Extralasting Powder Eyeshadow

True Color Eyeshadow




Step 5: Eye liner

● Enhances the shape and color of the eye

● Lashes appear thicker and more defined

● Three types: pencil, retractable, and liquid

● Many waterproof options



Anew Smoothing Eye Liner

Glimmersticks Eye Liner

Perfect Wear Eyewriter Liquid Eye Liner

Ultra Luxury Eye Liner




Step 6: Brow pencil

● Defines and shapes the eyebrows

● Use a pencil that matches your hair color



Glimmersticks Brow Definer

Ultra Luxury Brow Liner




Step 7: Blush

● Adds color and glow to the face

● Two types: powder and cream

● Look for a color close to your natural skin tone



Be Blushed Cheek Color

True Color Blush




Step 8: Mascara

● Lashes appear longer, thicker, and darker

● Eyes look bigger and more awake

● Different formulas for volume, length, curl, or definition



Daring Curves Mascara

Daring Definition Mousse Mascara

SuperFull Mascara

Uplifting Mascara

Wash-off Waterproof Mascara




Step 9: Lip product

● Colors, defines and protects the lips

● Color families: Pinks, Roses & Mauves, Plums & Wines, Reds, Nudes & Browns, Peaches & Corals

● Satin, sheer, shimmer, or metallic



Beyond Color Plumping Lipcolor SPF 15

Glazewear Liquid Lip Color

Perfect Wear Extralasting Lipstick

Pro-to-Go Lipstick

Ultra Color Rich Lipstick

Ultra Color Rich 24K Gold Lipstick



Step 10: Lip liner

● Defines the shape of the lip

● Prevents lipstick from feathering or bleeding

● Helps lip color last longer

● Two types: retractable and pencil



Glimmersticks Lip Liner

Ultra Luxury Lip Liner


www.youravon.com/ashwartz

Sunshine award!:)

Thank you, Amberlynn, http://fugitivefirefly.blogspot.com/ for this lovely award :) I'm sorry to post it so late..




Now, as with any award, there are rules that must followed.

1) Post the logo within your blog or post

2) Pass the award onto 12 fellow bloggers

3) Link the nominees within your post

4) Let the nominees know they have received an award by commenting on their blog'

5) Share the love and link to the person whom you received this award from.



My 12 bloggers:



http://www.readmylifeascarrie.blogspot.com/

http://tammystwocents-tammy.blogspot.com/

http://kaseysbloggy-blog.blogspot.com/

http://completelyeclipsed.blogspot.com/

http://www.reallifereslers.com/

http://www.kelleysfamilyjewels.blogspot.com/

http://susan-mythoughts.blogspot.com/

http://bilslandfamily.blogspot.com/

http://www.safehomehappymom.com/

http://www.mommylivingthelifeofriley.com



http://howcouldyounott.blogspot.com/

http://agirlinagorillasuit.blogspot.com/

Award! award! I smell award!

"This award means you're really going places, Baby. You'll still be blogging about your great adventures 10 years from now, and I'll still be reading them."

Thank you Jen at Review Retreat http://www.reviewretreat.com  for passing this along to me! If you haven't been to Jen's Blog, please stop by. She has lots of great savings, giveaways, freebies and more!


The Rules:

■Link back to the blogger who sent you this award

■Post where you would like to be in 10 years

■Pass it on to 10 other special bloggers!

In 10 years, I want to see myself happy, healthy, laughing, peaceful, loving fulfilling family life.


All is well in my world....



I would like to pass this award to:



1. http://www.anythingfitsanakedman.blogspot.com/

2. http://choices-lovetoteach.blogspot.com/

3. http://iwaitforthatday.blogspot.com/  I've been thinking

4. http://www.mamastillwearsgucci.com/

5. http://mrsblogalot.blogspot.com/

6. http://mageebaby.blogspot.com/

7. http://hopechella.blogspot.com/

8. http://ameliorationofang.blogspot.com/

9. http://lovelyviolet5.blogspot.com/

10. http://www.letshaveacocktail.com/

Now go celebrate your winning :)

English Phrase = Chinese Phrase

I think you need a facelift - Chin Tu Fat


Are you hiding a fugitive? - Hu Yu Hai Ding?

See me A.S.A.P. - Kum Hia Nao

Stupid Man - Dum Gai

Small Horse - Tai Ni Po Ni

Did you go to the beach - Wai Yu So Tan?

I bumped into a coffee table. - Ai Bang Mai Ni

It's very dark in here. - Wai So Dim

Has your flight been delayed? - Hao long Wei Ting?

An unauthorized execution. - Lin Ching.

I thought you were on a diet? - Wai Yu Mun Ching?

This is a tow away zone. - No Pah King

You are not very bright. - Yu So Dum

I got this for free - Ai No Pei

I am not guilty! - Wai Hang Mi?

Please stay a while longer. - Wai Go Nao?

They have arrived. - Hai Dei Kum.


Stay out of sight - Lei Lo

He's cleaning his automobile. - Wa Sing Ka.

Your body odor is offensive. - Yu Stin Ki Pu

Do you know the lyrics to the Macarena? - Wai Yu Sing Dum Song

Do your 10 minute yoga practice today

Lets try this yoga moves for beginners. It’s only 10 minutes long, try it today and see how you feel. It’s absolutely make me feel amazing . My all body feels stronger more flexible, and it makes me feel so good about myself.

What's Her Best Hair? Game

What's Her Best Hair?See the stars' latest cuts and color changes – and then vote on which hairstyle you like best?

KATHERINE HEIGL


Could the TV doctor be returning to Grey's Anatomy with a totally new look after swapping her signature blonde for brunette?

     KELLY OSBOURNE


The style risk-taker got colorful at a fashion event in L.A., adding a lavender wash to her platinum coif.

      KRISTEN STEWART


The Runaways star isn't just a makeup chameleon. She's equally adept at changing up her hair, taming it into a sleek back-swept style.

LAUREN CONRAD


After adapting her signature twist-front hairstyle into a pretty updo for a party in Hollywood, Lauren headed to a Florida book signing for her new novel Sweet Little Lies with her long hair loose and bangs swept back with a thin headband.

                         

Makeup Tips & How To: Eyes

Optical Illusions


Play with light and dark shades of eyeshadow to enhance the size of eyes or to bring eyes further or closer apart.



1. BRING WIDE-SET EYES CLOSER TOGETHER

Apply darker colors at the inner half of your lids, closest to the nose.



2. MAKE CLOSE-SET EYES APPEAR WIDER APART

Highlight inner corners with a light flesh-tone liner and shimmery pearl shadow.



3. MAKE SMALL EYES LOOK BIGGER

Line lower lids with a nude or very light color liner to make the whites of your eyes brighter.



4. MAKE EYES REALLY POP

Add a pale iridescent shadow in the center of lids and line lower inner lids with a white liner.



www.youravon.com/ashwartz

Makeup tricks how to?

Face Shaping:


You can use foundation or pressed powder to accentuate your best features and minimize the others. All you need are 3 different shades: Base – a shade that matches your skin exactly. Highlight – a shade lighter. Contour – a shade darker. The Highlight shade brings features forward. The Contour shade makes them recede.

NARROW YOUR NOSE


Highlight down the center of your nose to the width that you want to appear, then place contour on either side of the nose. Blend well.



SOFTEN A HEAVY JAW LINE

Shade around square jawline to make that area recede and create a more oval shape. Blend borders with a base shade.



GET HIGH CHEEKBONES

Shade round cheeks to make them recede, then highlight top of cheekbones to make them more prominent and lifted like those of a model. Blend base to borders…beautiful!

www.youravon.com/ashwartz

Bad acting, bad activism, bad habit.

Reportedly, India is considering adding Lindsay Lohan's name to the country's immigration blacklist.


Apparently when she went there to shoot a documentary about sex trafficking, she wasn't on a work visa. She drew tons of attention to herself by tweeting that she "saved" 40 children in a sweatshop raid. People that participated in that raid say it was done before she got there and are urging the country to ban her from returning.

Things can't be going great in your life when an entire country wants to ban you. Please let her back in. We can't deal with her anymore.

Marriage Bureau - Food for Thought? post it note tuesday!

Eternal Magic for Mother's Day :)

Eternal Magic Eau de Toilette Spray

Remember to take full advantage of Avon's newest fragrance, Eternal Magic for Mother's Day sales. Zoë Saldana , a bright, young actress and star of the hit movie Avatar, brings an unforgettable grace and her own magical allure as the face behind Eternal Magic.

Plus, with every Eternal Magic Eau de Toilette Spray you purchase in the C-9 Brochure, you will receive a FREE three-piece Gift Collection that includes a full-size tube of Eternal Magic Body Lotion, Shower Gel and a Gift Bag (a $20 value).

I have it in stock now ! How many do you want ? I can also have it sent to you.

3-PIECE ETERNAL MAGIC GIFT COLLECTION  $24.00


Includes:
Eternal Magic Eau de Toilette Spray

• Full-Size Body Lotion
6.7 fl. oz.
a $10.00 value!
• Full-Size Shower Gel
6.7 fl. oz.
a $10.00 value!
• 1 Gift Bag

get it now! www.youravon.com/ashwartz
or email me anatdoll@yahoo.com

When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.

Apparently Rielle Hunter isn't happy with the photos used in her recent GQ spread. Barbara Walters said on The View that she spoke to Hunter who "was in tears" over the shots. In one of the photos, Rielle's belly is exposed while she lies with her two-year-old daughter. Let me get this straight!!! She is ashamed of her belly and not ashamed of sleeping with a married man?!?!?!?!


Walters asked Hunter why she is upset since she obviously posed for the pictures, to which Hunter responded she trusted the photographer and "went with the flow."

When Hunter saw the photos that were used, she told Walters that she "screamed for 2 hours." I'm sure the baby feels just as humiliated.



She should be more upset over the lack of judgment she used in actually posing for a GQ spread when her only claim to fame is the she got knocked up by a married presidential candidate. And "screamed for 2 hours?" Who has that much time on their hands?

Please don't drive when you're not driving.

I don’t know why my hubby makes such a big deal when I’m trying to help him drive. We all need a little help to point us in the right direction. I simply point out all the things “we” are doing wrong while we are trying to get to our final destination. Here is my simple direction to him: “we are going right” Him: “I know” Me “ho no! watch out!! Didn’t you see this car coming? You need to be more defensive when driving” Him: “do you want to drive?” Me (completely ignore the remark and keep helping him drive)


“ I think you need to get in the left lane”. Him: “I know”. ME: “so why aren’t you?” Him” am I driving? Or you? Me “why you going so slow? Pick up the pace, you driving like my grandma” Him “ dear God help me to not choke this woman” . Me: “ are you sawing a dress for yourself with this car? It feels like you are, this all break and go thing , that you doing just not working for me.” Him: “dear God just kill me now! Please I can’t take it no more.” ME:” LEFT! LEFT! LEFT! You got to turn LEFT!”



I don’t know why he makes such a big deal..I’m only trying to help….

Get a virtual makeover!

Click on the link to get your before and after
http://shop.avon.com/shop/landing.aspx?department=vmo3

Go on the 30 day diet.- I'm on it and so far I've lost 15 days

Mermaid or Whale?
I saw an add in a magazine featuring a young, thin and tanned woman, it was a gym add to anchorage you to get in shape, and this is what it said

: "THIS SUMMER DO YOU WANT TO BE A MERMAID OR A WHALE?"

My physical characteristics does not match those of the woman in the magazine, Really?! Yes! Big shocker. My responded

To Whom It May Concern:

Whales are always surrounded by friends [dolphins, sea lions, curious humans]. They have an active sex life, they get pregnant and have adorable baby whales. They have a wonderful time with dolphins, stuffing themselves with shrimp. They play and swim in the seas, seeing wonderful places like Patagonia, the Barren Sea and the coral reefs of Polynesia. Whales are wonderful singers and have even recorded CDs. They are incredible creatures and virtually have no predators other than humans. They are loved, protected and admired by almost everyone in the world.



Mermaids don't exist. If they did exist, they would be lining up outside the offices of psychoanalysts due to identity crisis. Fish or human? They don't have a sex life because they kill men who get close to them, not to mention how could they have sex? Therefore they don't have kids either. Not to mention who wants to get close to a girl who smells like a fish store?

The choice is perfectly clear to me: I want to be a whale.



Footnote:

We are in an age when the media puts into our heads the idea that only skinny people are beautiful, but I prefer to enjoy an ice cream with my family, a good dinner with a man who makes me shiver and a coffee with my friends. With time we gain weight because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room it distributes out to the rest of our bodies. So we aren’t heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated, happy and pleasantly plump. Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror I will think, ‘Good gosh, look how smart I am!

What Women Want in a Man. Age 20-70

What Women Want in a Man:


What Women Want in a Man. Age 20

Handsome

Charming

Financially successful

A caring listener

Witty

In good shape

Dresses with style

Appreciates finer things

Full of thoughtful surprises

An imaginative, romantic lover

What Women Want in a Man. Age 30

Nice looking [prefer hair on his head]

Opens car doors, holds chairs

Has enough money for a nice dinner

Listens more than talks

Laughs at my jokes

Carries bags of groceries with ease

Owns at least one tie

Appreciates a good home-cooked meal

Remembers birthdays and anniversaries

Seeks romance at least once a week

What Women Want in a Man. Age 40

»Not too ugly [bald head OK]

Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car

Works steady - splurges on dinner out occasionally

Nods head when I'm talking

Usually remembers punch lines of jokes

Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture

Wears a shirt that covers his stomach

Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids

Remembers to put the toilet seat down

Shaves most weekends

What Women Want in a Man. Age 50

Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed

Doesn't belch or scratch in public

Doesn't borrow money too often

Doesn't nod off to sleep when I'm venting

Doesn't re-tell the same joke too many times

Is in good enough shape to get off couch on weekends

Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear

Appreciates a good TV dinner

Remembers your name on occasion

Shaves some weekends

What Women Want in a Man. Age 60

Doesn't scare small children

Remembers where bathroom is

Doesn't require much money for upkeep

Only snores lightly when asleep

Remembers why he's laughing

Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself

Usually wears some clothes

Likes soft foods

Remembers where he left his teeth

Remembers that it's the weekend

What Women Want in a Man. Age 70+

Breathing

Doesn't miss the toilet

Funny

After Monday and Tuesday...

Even the calendar says

W T F.

Life Unplucked, The Hairy Truth:)

Forget American Express.

Don't leave home without your tweezers. The car is the best place to pluck .
Ever notice a weird, freakishly long hair growing in a truly inappropriate place?

It's usually a different thickness, texture and even color than any of your other hair just to add to the over-all creepiness of it.

Invariably this horrifying discovery occurs when you have been out all day, among tons of people, including your so-called friends!

You just know that everyone that saw you was thinking to themselves, how could anyone have a huge gross hair growing under their chin and not do anything about it?

Frankly, my eyesight is not what it used to be, plus, these mutant hairs literally

appear overnight.

When you hit a certain age all remaining fertility migrates north to the higher elevations. Now all the hair except the hair on the top of your head, grows at an accelerated pace. It is not humanly possible to keep up.

Your only weapons are a highly magnified mirror and surgical quality tweezers.

Warning: Take the necessary precautions. Keep them under lock and key!

I have personally been involved in missing tweezer induced rage.

Under certain circumstances it can become nearly homicidal in nature.

Trust me, you do not want to go there.

Another Dream Shattered !!

we can all stop looking!!
Someone finally managed to photograph the pot at the end of the rainbow.

Take a look at my giveaway:)