Go on the 30 day diet.- I'm on it and so far I've lost 15 days

Mermaid or Whale?
I saw an add in a magazine featuring a young, thin and tanned woman, it was a gym add to anchorage you to get in shape, and this is what it said

: "THIS SUMMER DO YOU WANT TO BE A MERMAID OR A WHALE?"

My physical characteristics does not match those of the woman in the magazine, Really?! Yes! Big shocker. My responded

To Whom It May Concern:

Whales are always surrounded by friends [dolphins, sea lions, curious humans]. They have an active sex life, they get pregnant and have adorable baby whales. They have a wonderful time with dolphins, stuffing themselves with shrimp. They play and swim in the seas, seeing wonderful places like Patagonia, the Barren Sea and the coral reefs of Polynesia. Whales are wonderful singers and have even recorded CDs. They are incredible creatures and virtually have no predators other than humans. They are loved, protected and admired by almost everyone in the world.



Mermaids don't exist. If they did exist, they would be lining up outside the offices of psychoanalysts due to identity crisis. Fish or human? They don't have a sex life because they kill men who get close to them, not to mention how could they have sex? Therefore they don't have kids either. Not to mention who wants to get close to a girl who smells like a fish store?

The choice is perfectly clear to me: I want to be a whale.



Footnote:

We are in an age when the media puts into our heads the idea that only skinny people are beautiful, but I prefer to enjoy an ice cream with my family, a good dinner with a man who makes me shiver and a coffee with my friends. With time we gain weight because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room it distributes out to the rest of our bodies. So we aren’t heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated, happy and pleasantly plump. Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror I will think, ‘Good gosh, look how smart I am!